Dead Schembechlers return to rail against Michigan

Band will perform Friday night at Skully's

By John Benson

Special to Metromix

It’s “(Expletive) Michigan” time again in Columbus, with none other than punked-up Woody Hayes-look alike act the Dead Schembechlers—Bo Biafra (vocals), Bo Thunders (guitar), Bo Vicious (bass) and Bo Scabies (drums)—leading the chant.
 
This anti-Go Blue sentiment will invariably reach a fever pitch at the “2010 Hate Michigan Rally,” which takes place Friday, Nov. 26 at Skully's Music Diner. Naturally, the Dead Schembechlers will regale the Scarlet and Gray fans with songs such as “I Hate Michigan,” “Why Does John Cooper Want Me to Blow My Own Brains Out,” “You Lost to Appalachian State” and “Rich Rodriguez is a Weasel.”

We reconnected with the band’s singer Bo (real name held due to supposed death threats) to discuss why we only see the raucous act every two years, what Woody Hayes would have to say about the Dead Schembechlers and whether there’s a special message for double-agent Michigan fans living in Columbus.
 
First of all, (expletive) Michigan!
(Expletive) Michigan and (expletive) (expletive)-Rod. Let me tell you something—it is not only our 20th anniversary shindig, this is also (Michigan Coach Rich Rodriguez’s) going away party. Three seasons and a cloud of dust.
 
Considering we haven’t seen you play live in two years, what’s happening with the Dead Schembechlers?
Yeah, we were hoping to get up to Michigan last year to do something outside of the stadium at a club, but they threw up so many roadblocks and wouldn’t give us permission to perform. Of course once the indoor establishments caught wind of who was trying to book a gig, they shut us out. So we will get up there sometime in the future, and when we do, it will more than likely be in the form of some sort of musical commando raid.
 
What does it mean that there’s such a large anti-Dead Schembechlers agenda in Michigan?
They are afraid of us. The way I see it, if we actually perform for the people in Michigan we will be greeted as liberators, removing the sour yoke of weasel impression. (Expletive)-Rod is the worst thing to happen to that football program in its history, and that is saying something. Not only has he gotten his ass kicked every year by Ohio State, he’s lost to Appalachian State and Toledo for God's sake. He’s had some of the most embarrassing moments in that program’s 100-year history. When their fans, Michigan fans on their own, are setting up websites calling for the firing of Rich Rodriguez, I don’t know whether to be happy about it or pissed off. Trying to get a Michigan coach fired, that’s our job.
 
What do you think Woody Hayes would have to say about your band and its mission of Michigan hate?
Well, Woody speaks to me. He appears to me now in the form of a burning couch, and the angry voice of Woody emanates from inside the flames of this sacred angry couch. Woody is very pleased. But Woody gets concerned when people get too caught up in a Big Ten championship or maybe a national championship. Now these things are all well and good, but Woody is here to remind us that the true calling of the Ohioan is the defeat of the Michigan scourge. Nothing is more important.
 
Any prediction regarding this year’s game?
In Vegas the over/under is slightly higher than it normally is. I believe it’s 856. I myself would bet the over because it’s my understanding that Michigan doesn’t have a defense this year. Now I don’t know how you can play with only an offense, but if you look at the scores put up against them it would be hard to believe they have any defensive players at all on the field ... ever.
 
Finally, what’s your message to the occasional Michigan fan seen around Central Ohio?
We have a song for them, written specifically for those I see on High Street from time to time wearing that blue cap with the piss-yellow "M" on it. [It's called] “M Means Moron.”

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The 2010 Hate Michigan Rally takes place at 7 p.m. Nov. 26 at Skully's Music Diner, 1151 North High Street, Columbus. Alpha Racetrack opens. Tickets are $12. Portions of the proceeds will be donated to the Bo Schembechler Heart of A Champion Fund, the Andyman Fund and to the Stefanie Spielman Fund for Breast Cancer Research. For more information, visit www.deadschembechlers.com