Meet the Food Bandits

The Food Bandits raid Chile Verde

Tex-Mex restaurant on Sawmill Road packs plenty of flavor

Drawing inspiration from two of the best cinematic villains ever (the Wet Bandits from “Home Alone”), The Food Bandits are here to leave a lasting impression.

But unlike the criminal masterminds they’re named after, The Food Bandits aren’t here to flood your home and steal all your valuables.

Rather, they’re here to enrich your lives.

The pair of award-winning food critics—with more than 20 years of combined experience in the entertainment business between them—are back in town after a few years away. They’re ready to bring you the most in-depth and engaging restaurant reviews in Central Ohio.

In order to remain anonymous (and thus get unbiased treatment at all restaurants), the Bandits go by the names Jay Bottle and John Cactus. From time to time, they’re accompanied by sidekick Foodito Bandito, a parrot who serves as an erratic and unreliable business partner.

You can reach the Bandits at foodbandits@yahoo.com.

INDIVIDUAL BIOS:

Jay Bottle grew up in Worthington and attended The Ohio State University, graduating with a degree in journalism in 2003. Since then, he’s bounced around several different cities, writing for newspapers such as the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the New York Daily News, the Dallas Morning News and the Columbus Dispatch.

He moved back to Columbus in the fall of 2008 and is excited to reacquaint himself with the local food scene.

Although he understands and appreciates the elegance of fine dining, Bottle has simple tastes and cares more about strong flavors than beautiful décor. That’s why he has no problem admitting Popeye’s Fried Chicken is his favorite restaurant. 

Any place serving bratwurst is a close second.

Bottle also has simple tastes when it comes to libations, with a cold Budweiser as his drink of choice.    

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John Cactus also grew up in Worthington and attended The Ohio State University, graduating in 2003 with a degree in hospitality management.

His passion for the restaurant industry led to a seven-year career with Hyatt Hotels and Resorts, where he worked in a number of food and beverage positions. After college, Cactus moved to San Francisco to continue his work for Hyatt, but a life in the world of entertainment was too tempting to pass up. In the Emerald City, he began a career in the TV industry, working with stations such as ESPN, MSNBC and Fox Business.

After a few years in the Bay Area, Cactus moved to Nashville, Tenn., to continue his career in the world of television, working for Fox and two other network affiliates.

Cactus, who moved back to Central Ohio in August of 2009, has an eclectic palate, enjoying everything from sushi to wood-fired pizza.

A devout connoisseur of spirits, he can often be found sipping a California red.

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Like his compadres, Foodito Bandito also grew up in Worthington. When Bottle and Cactus matriculated to Ohio State, the parrot Foodito headed to Ohio Wesleyan University, where he soared into the work-hard, squawk-hard lifestyle, graduating with honor degrees in journalism and libations.

Foodito spent his first post-university years as a sportswriter, developing a reputation as an expert on press box food and college-town nightlife (recommendations: the bread pudding at Purdue and State Street in Madison). But when that lifestyle began to feel like a birdcage, Foodito did what most birds do—he flew south.

After earning a master’s degree at Duke University in a field that is far too complicated to explain here, Foodito was begrudgingly given the title of “smartest Food Bandit.”

In North Carolina he developed quite the snobbery when it comes to barbecue and fresh seafood. He likes his food spicy, and he’ll try just about anything, as long as it doesn’t have feathers (he may be a drunkard, but he’s not a cannibal).